courtesy of T. Dias Piva Imparato
Tomas Dias Piva Imparato, born in Brazil, presently pursues his studies at Sciences Po in France and Columbia University in New York. Reflecting on the trauma of the past year, like most, his focus is drawn to the pandemic, the resulting quarantine, its impact on his life and his outlook for the future.
So, according to you, how was this year universally impactful?
Tomas: As Manu Macron said, it’s hard being 20 in 2020. I honestly would argue that the year was universally impactful but with drastically unequal consequences. I think that for the first time for many of us, we came to understand just how connected the world is (given how fast the virus spread globally) and also how much we are still at the mercy of our own environment.
But my own experience reinforced my gratitude for having privileged access to the resources and structures that allow for people in my social circle to be far more protected from the effects of the pandemic than others.
Of course, I was forced to remain home, but the turbulence of that experience pales in comparison to those who had to bury loved ones, or worse yet watch them suffer as the insufficiencies of national healthcare systems were exposed.
I think that the main takeaway here is the conclusion that people are more interconnected than ever, but still brutally subjected to the whims of mother nature and the shortcomings of our own social structures.
What has the shared experience made us realize? any lessons?
Faith in science, the complete absurdity of politics and political systems pandering to national and international audiences more so than focusing on cooperation and the protection of their own people, are all things that came to the forefront of our lives in 2020.
understanding… we depend on each other
I think that the silver lining to this year comes in the form of something I mentioned before: Truly understanding the extent to which we depend on each other, regardless of national or cultural identities, to solve the issues that affect humans on a global scale.
I mean, if not a single nation (except for the Oceanian utopias) managed to overcome the crisis without significant political turbulence, what does that say about our capacity to solve other global issues like climate change?
Perhaps I’m being a pessimist, but it feels as if true global cooperation is more impossible than ever. But on the other hand, understanding how much we still have to evolve in order to be able to cooperate effectively is the first step in beginning that process.
Each person experienced the universal shock of their own personal way –we seemingly all went through highs and lows:
– what specifically about the pandemic experience was the most challenging for you?
within a metaphorical fish tank
The feeling of not being stimulated, of remaining within a metaphorical fish tank through which I could see, but not affect, the world and my country falling apart before my eyes. In this context, I couldn’t help but turn to cheap thrills to keep me occupied and distracted from that horrible reality.
Everything from Netflix, to casual day-drinking, to spending hours unplugged while surfing. I spent the longest consecutive amount of time in Brazil that I have since I left when I was five years old. But for the first time, Brazil didn’t feel like home. It felt like a temporary limbo, a shadow of that which I hold so dear.
How could the Brazil I know, and love, be this divided? And without stimulation, I could only continually reflect and consider my personal issues as well as the ones in my social context. I lost contact with close friends, isolating myself both in my mind and body.
– In the bigger picture, do you think you needed 2020? Did the experience of confinement, etc. allow for any personal realizations/ growth?
I understood for the first time in years that the problems I thought I had overcome– depression, anxiety, a visceral demanding of excellence from myself, FOMO– had evolved into new issues that require fresh solutions. That’s why I went back to therapy. 2020 showed me that I was unequipped for such a test, and that I needed to expand the scope of my attempt at loving myself in order to get close to having the tools necessary to be comfortable with myself.
– How has this unique year generally shaped you?
I have understood a few things about my personal nature, as well as that of those around me. I always considered myself as tough and resilient in adapting to new environments. I don’t think anyone that moved around as much as I did, faced as much heartbreak as I did in leaving friends, homes, houses, and lives, comes out of it without a stoic ruggedness to the question of adaptation.
the stress of losing a loved one
But what happens when the world is turned upside down? I left France, my friends, and my studies because my grandfather was virtually on his deathbed. I saw people who I had always perceived as incredibly strong, break down completely under the stress of potentially losing a loved one. And once the pandemic truly hit Brazil, I saw how much an uncertain future can be destabilizing.
I guess what I mean to say is that 2020 taught me to indulge in my emotional desires more. I tell my family and my friends that I love them pretty much every day. I no longer care about my appearance to others as much; rather I like to solidify the relationships I have and make sure people understand how important they are to me, and subsequently how important we are to each other.
A quote I read recently summed up the core lesson of 2020 for me. In Portuguese, it reads: Se tens um coração de ferro, bom proveito. Pois o meu fizeram-no de carne, e sangra todo dia.
In English, it is equally beautiful: If you have a heart of iron, enjoy it. For mine was made of flesh, and it bleeds every day. (Jose Saramago)
2020 taught me openness, and it renewed my trust in the good within those around me.
If 2020 was a book, each chapter an account of one’s own personal experience of the year, what would be the title of your chapter?
“The Love Affair Between Honesty, Pain, and Happiness”
What’s a memory of yours from this year you hope to preserve forever?
The phone call my dad gave me after I was accepted to Columbia University. We spoke and he mentioned, through many tears, how much this achievement meant.
My ancestors left a tiny village in Southern Italy in the 1880’s to work in Coffee plantations in rural Brazil, effectively serving as the first wave of labor to come to Brazil after the abolition of slavery.
something beyond unthinkable…
130 years ago, my namesakes toiled under the searing sun, day after day, dreaming of one day owning property and settling in that emerging society. Today, I have reached something that was beyond unthinkable for them.
Maybe I’m being self-indulgent, but that phone call had real meaning. After this horrible year, one in which my father and I had our fair share of issues, a story like that reminds me that the essence of the human experience is in the beauty of its stories, rather than the darkness of the tragedies which befall us.
How will you remember 2020 twenty years from now?
As the year in which I held a mirror to myself, acknowledged who I am as a person, and learned to love all over again through humanity’s pain.
How will having lived 2020 impact the year to come –either in terms of new general normalcy or rather how you envision the effects on you own life post-pandemic?
Never again will I take this world and all it has to offer for granted. People, cultures, places, faces. That’s what matters.
I know I’m a romantic, but we see now just how much division exists (even, and perhaps especially, in things we previously assumed to be inviolable truths) and how fragile the balance of life is.
People will continue to have conflicts, and these phenomena will only become more frequent the more that we explore and exploit the earth.
the fleeting nature of life
I hope that people will respect their own roles and positions in their communities more after this experience. I also hope that it serves to remind us of the fleeting nature of life and that which is truly important. That which is out of one’s control cannot be changed.
But mindsets, like the willingness to practice and live by tenets of compassion, are inherent to each and every one of us. Hopefully, people move in that direction next year.
Stillness is death, and honest love is the only vehicle possible.
About the Article
A look from amid the pandemic at the impact on how one is riding it out in Brazil.
